


To pop a Blueberry

by HanaNaraku



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Multiple Endings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7237927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanaNaraku/pseuds/HanaNaraku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Poor little Sans is tired of not knowing just why Papyrus won't tell him about his nightmares... He is tired of feeling pain that his brother cruelly inflicts on him, aware or not. That is why he has called for help, that is why I am here to support him...'</p><p>-<br/>Just a warning that their is mentions of suicide and self-harm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a side-project whilst I work on the other stories.

Glancing down at the sharp object, he could see his own reflection. A weak, pathetic and good for nothing monster looking straight back. He'd always been known as a 'bright' monster but that wasn't evident as those eyes were soulless and black.  
  
_'You're a burden...'_  
  
"I am?"  
  
_'You lie to everyone...'_  
  
"I do?"  
  
_'They all hate you...'_  
  
"They do?"  
  
_'He hates you...'_  
  
"He... does?"  
  
Sans could feel his soul shake from uncertainty as his mind desperately searched to find any sign that his brother truly did care. But all he could find was the disappointing stares, his rejection of his affections... his ability to lie to him about his nightmares. To lie about everything...  
  
_'He doesn't trust you... he thinks you are worthless... he doesn't even love you.'_  
  
"Shutup!shutup!shutup!" he cried out, lashing at the nothingness around him until it simmered down into a peaceful quietness.  
  
He groaned in frustration as his soul ached, how he desperately wanted these negative thoughts to leave his mind but no matter how positive he tried to make of the situation the voice would also return.  
  
_'Just hurt yourself... make it all go away...'_  
  
"All... go away?" he repeated, his mind seemingly going numb as the voice soothed him and coaxed him to raise the sharp object and hold it above his radius.  
  
_'Do as I say then the pain will all go away.'_  
  
"go... away..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"COME ON SANS! WHAT ARE YOU A WIMP? HIT ME ALREADY!" Alphys yelled towards the already exhausted Sans. Panting for breath that technically he did not need but still required to replenish some magic, if any. Without taking too much time to recover he furiously ran towards Alphys and swung a sharpened bone towards her but she grabbed it with ease and a smirk, pulling it from his hold causing him to stumble face first into the snow.  
  
She held his bone behind his head with a smug grin. They'd been at this for six hours now but that should be no problem to a royal guard! They work from dawn to dusk without much time for a break. They needed to always know when to use their magic and how. They needed to be strong.  
  
"You lose."  
  
Alphys chuckled as she threw to bone to the side and offered her friend a hand. When he got up and shook the snow off himself, he noticed how disappointed she looked as she shook her head. A hand on her hips whilst the other rubbed her neck.  
  
"Alphys I-"  
  
"You really must put more effort into these battles Sans." Alphys sighed as she turned her head, unable to look at the no doubt upset skeleton.  
  
She knew he tried his very best. Hell - not many of her previous guards could last this long in a battle with her but at least they knew when to quit. They could preserve their magic until it was needed and still be able to dodge her attacks. Something that the enthusiastic skeleton lacked.  
  
Though she admired that Sans was persistent and a very courageous monster with boundless levels of confidence that she simply adored. Not many could be as loud or boisterous as her. Not many could be her friend and co-worker. No monster, save for Undyne, has ever been so kind to her. But that is what would ultimately cause his downfall.  
  
'I do Alphys! I do...' Sans oh-so wanted to tell her. With every battle session they had together over the last few years, he would try his very best and yet if he was brutally honest then he's never been able to hit her (not that he really wanted to) but this attitude was not good enough. If one really wanted to be a royal guard then they must be able to set monsters in their place sometimes.  
  
"Well that will do for today!" She patted his back encouragingly before lifting a rucksack filled with new anime stuff from the dump, no doubt for her girlfriend, "See ya next week wimp!"  
  
Sans watched and waved with a cheerful smile as his friend disappeared in the distance before finally allowing his smile to fall. With that he made his way back to Snowdin, allowing himself to feel miserable before he'd have to put the front back on. No one in this world was sad so neither should he.  
  
"Why can't you do anything right?" he thought to himself with a sigh.  
  
_'How can you protect your brother if you can't even hit a slow target?'_  
  
...  
  
_'Why are you so weak?'_  
  
Such thoughts continuously plagued his mind as he walked home, ignoring most monsters that would wave at him. He wasn't being rude but if he looked up at them then they might see how sad he really was. And this Sans was never allowed to feel anything but happiness, supposedly.  
  
As he reached his brothers work station he realised that he wasn't at work, but he knew that he'd be off at Muffets for a 'break'. Which was fine in one sense, nothing usually happens and Undyne has cameras at the entrance so she can always inform one of them when they are here. But he liked seeing his brother at work; he loved to see him more often, when times are quiet, even if he was to nag at him for a while it was all harmless fun.  
  
But now that he was at the 'checkpoint' that he'd made mentally, he forced a bright smile on his face. Closing his eyes tightly before re-opening them, filled with bright stars. He charged on towards Muffets to grab his lazy bones brothers like he did everyday. Creating the protective brother act that every monster in the pastry store knew of and probably enjoyed watching as he would drag his brother outside, telling him off for being irresponsible as he neglected his duties.  
  
It wasn't until he approached Snowdin that he stopped running, slowing down until he was only walking then stopped altogether.  
  
_'Why bother?'_

He didn't know how long he actually stood outside of Muffets until a cold breeze snapped him out of it. He shuddered as the weather worsened, deciding that instead of heading to Muffets, he would go home.

Upon opening the door and closing it behind him he felt a nagging empty feeling loom over him. Before he could really contemplate why, he felt himself collapsing on the couch for a moment, not even bothering to take off his boots.

'Perhaps he would go get him later?' a voice with a lighter tone spoke.  
  
Daring to glance up at the clock his soul nearly skipped a beat. Frantically he got himself up and dashed off into the kitchen, it was nearly nine o'clock at night! So late! He always followed such a strict schedule, to be sure his brother was fed before a bath... then bed... oh. Sans stopped with his hasty movements allowing his arms to slump.  
  
_'Papyrus isn't a child anymore... he doesn't need you.'_  
  
It wasn't as though monsters had to eat every day. Sleep can also replenish their magic just as well as eating could but he wanted to be sure his brother would be a happy child with bundles of energy much like himself but even from being a few years old that monster was lazy. He almost jumped as he heard chuckling, not realising that it was himself that was doing so. He checked around the room, half-convinced that Papyrus was in here but why would he be? He had Muffet now and rarely stayed home unless it was to keep his brother company.  
  
_'So pathetic,'_  
  
In his moment of scrambling around getting the necessary cutlery out to make his specialty dish he realised that the knife was still in his hands. It looked almost... pretty? Perhaps even a little exciting? To hold such a sharp object that turns even a powerful monster like the queen into dust - it felt so strange...  
  
_'So weak,'_  
  
He shook his head furiously and put the knife where it belonged before going to bed. No need to stay up, so long as the door was unlocked then his brother would be fine. So he took off his battle armour that he'd have to fixed tomorrow, getting his pyjamas on and tucking himself into bed. He turned for a while as he was unable to get comfortable. That object seemed to be so tantalising for a reason that Sans couldn't understand.  
  
It wasn't a toy and even if it was then Sans knew better then to swing it around. Should that object fall into a human's hands then surely it could cause a lot of damage to a monster such as himself.  
  
_'No one will know... You can just rid yourself of those weaknesses... You can just heal those cuts... No one will ask... You will feel great.'_  
  
He knew it was wrong but he also knew that he could no longer suppress the terrible voice in his head that sounded vaguely familiar, a mixture between his brother and some other monsters voice. It seemed to get louder with every passing day, ever since his brother got more and more withdrawn from him. No longer wanting any attention from him... he felt increasingly useless as his brother grew into the slim, tall and still lazy man that he always wanted to be for him. Rather he was stuck with a chubby, small and weak brother that could never look after himself anymore.

-  
  
Almost too quickly for his own liking he soon found himself holding that object again, staring down at it. He didn't know what to do with it but just holding it seemed to take away any of his negative thoughts momentarily until he heard it again, daring him to do it. Whatever it was.  
  
"do what?" he whispered.  
  
_'Cut it away...'_  
  
"cut what away?"  
  
_'Your pain...'_  
  
"my... pain?"  
  
It was as though something clicked in his mind as he pieced together all of his sorrow and frustration at being 'worthless'. If he cut it away then would he be happier? The voice had said that he would feel great.  
  
_'Stop thinking... let it happen!'_  
  
With shaky breath he put his arm down on the counter and placed the knife close to his radius on his left arm. His arm was shaking and he rested it lightly against the bone, not daring to go any further.  
  
"I will be happy?"  
  
_'Yes... you will feel so very happy...'_  
  
Taking a deep breath in he allowed the knife to sink down just a little into his bone. He bit his lower jaw as the knife scrap slowly across his radius, he intended to go slow with it as this was the first time he did anything so... bad.  
  
When the knife had fully gone across his now cut bone he almost instinctively raised the other to try and stop the bleeding as though it was an accident. But he felt such relief as he watched his 'weakness' seep out of his bone, he could feel the voice in his head quieten for once in such a long time, his soul felt so light and surprisingly warm. It was an odd reaction for sure, perhaps one that he'd have to watch for next time-  
  
He gasped as though the situation dawned on him and with haste he cleaned the knife, along with his wound before patching it up. Taking a moment to calm himself he took a seat at the dinning table and reached for his phone that had been in his pocket for some reason and sent a text to Muffet, asking if his brother was coming home.  
  
'He is staying here with me darling~ has had one too many drinks huehue~'  
  
Sans smiled a little as he saw the picture attached to the text. His brother was hunched over the toilet at Muffet's, probably passed out from the drink. But of course his brother wouldn't be in such a bad state if Muffet didn't...  
  
Sans decided to drop the subject, he was tired and wanting to put this day to rest. Far too much disappointment and confusion for his liking. He was the innocent and most enthusiastic monster in Snowdin that made everyone feel as though life was good. He needed to maintain that act for not only the monsters in Snowdin but for his fragile brother too.  
  
This would just be the one off. He needed to forget what had happened this night, heal up his cut in the morning and pretended as though it never happened so that he could be happy-go-lucky again. He would do just that in the morning.

As Sans was tucked into his covers for the night he found himself resting easy, despite the fact that his soul ached a little knowing that his brother wasn't in his room. Not that it should be a problem. Papyrus wasn't a baby bones anymore and didn't need his brother watching over him all the time.  
  
But there was just a nagging feeling in his soul that wouldn't go away, even in his sleep he could still feel his soul tugging at him. Silently begging him to wake up and find his brother. Frustrated, the moment he opened his eyes he groaned and sat himself upright.  
  
Rubbing his eye sockets he picked up his phone and saw that he had only slept a few hours. It was enough but it wasn't following his usual routine that he'd set himself a few years back.  
  
'Muffet called?' he thought as he saw the missed calls from her. Not sure if it'd be appropriate to call her, he felt hesitant for a moment but before he could protest he realised that he'd already started calling her back.  
  
Nervously he waited for her to answer. Needless to say he was surprised when she answered pretty quickly, although she sounded distressed.  
  
"Muffet? something up?"  
  
"Oh my goodness finally! Sans can you come get your brother? he's been crying out for you all night, something about you leaving him...?"  
  
He almost dropped his phone in horror as he could hear his brother crying out in the background. Muffet was trying to soothe him, but there was no doubt that he was still in that state of mind.  
  
He hung up on her and got dressed as quickly as he could, allowing his magic to gather up any clothing and place it in his hands. His soul was pounding as he could feel his brothers magic increasing from his own room. No doubt that most monsters in Snowdin could feel his presence by now.  
  
The moment he got his boots on he dashed out of the door and towards Muffets. For the first time Sans was relieved to be at Muffets so quickly. He banged on her door but he grew impatient as she didn't answer, he called out her name and for a moment the two had eye contact for a moment it was soon clear that she was holding him back.  
  
Frantic Sans conjured a bone with a sharp end to hit at the lock of the Café. When it broke, he ran inside casting the bone towards the floor.  
  
"Papyrus!" Sans called out.  
  
He ran towards his brother, of whom was towering over Muffet. Looking both angry and heart broke as though she'd committed a horrendous crime.  
  
"i'm sorry sans! i'm sorry! i'm sorry!" Papyrus yelled as he grabbed onto Muffet's shoulders, shaking her body back and forth. Sans pulled on his hoodie and called his name over and over until finally his movements slowed, hushing him until he stopped completely keeping a firm hold on his body so he wouldn't fall over.  
  
Muffet didn't move for a minute, her eyes wide and body stiff. Never has she seen her boyfriend like this, it was horrible. To see a usually calm, cool and lazy monster turn into this was unexpected. With Sans' help, the two managed to rest him against the wall.  
  
He had passed out but was still breathing rather fast so Sans stayed by his side by taking a seat next to him whilst Muffet excused herself to change into something more appropriate. Wearing a torn dressing gown wasn't the most comfortable thing after all.  
  
So Sans whilst waited for her to come back he held his brothers hand and gently rubbed it. Hoping that his brother would wake soon and apologise to Muffet but, then again their would be no doubt the damage was done.  
  
_'It's all your fault'_  
  
"Sorry about that dearie..." Muffet said as she came into view, Sans shook those thoughts away and watched as Muffet took a seat across from Sans on the floor and folded her arms, "Mind telling me what that was all about?"  
  
Sans sighed and shook his head. He didn't really want to explain his brother's behaviour when he barely understood why it happened himself. But Muffet would likely be persistent in getting an answer so rather than argue, it'd be best to go along with it for the moment.  
  
"He has nightmares... but I couldn't tell you what they were about" Sans shrugged with his free arm.  
  
Muffet frowned, "Those aren't normal Sans... does he have these often?"  
  
It wasn't a subject that both skeletons focused on really. But it was unfortunate that this was a reoccurrence. Sans could at least admit to himself that he had previously tried to tackle the matter but his brother has always been persisted that it was nothing for him to worry about. More often than not though, those words alone made him worry especially coming from Papyrus.  
  
"Muffet... please I don't wanna talk about it, he'll be awake soon so ask him okay? He might actually tell you something" Sans said with a hint of venom, Muffet noted. Though why she couldn't just wait to discuss this with her 'partner' was annoying the smaller skeleton. Unknowingly he had gripped his brother's hand a little harder from his increasing frustration.  
  
Expectedly, Muffet looked frustrated from the lack of an easy answer, as she rubbed the spot where her glasses rested, "Sans honey, I know you and I don't agree on everything but please... tell me... is this something you have to put up with every night?"  
  
Sans could feel his brother's body stiffen ever so slightly, his brother's hand clenching his own. This wasn't going to end well if Muffet persisted much more. But perhaps, this was a chance to say a few things that bothered him about his brother's behaviour even if it could hurt his 'sleeping' brother.  
  
"Yes actually it happens most every night. But I am now used to it... I just wish he would tell me what they were so I could help him I'm sure that we would all love to help him but he never tells me anything..." Sans felt his brother flinch, no doubt he had his secrets and that was fine but why keep such a troubling secret to yourself when their are others wanting to help? It was confusing and hurt his already troubled soul whenever his brothe claimed to be 'fine'.  
  
Muffet nodded with more understanding before speaking again, "I'm surprised really. I thought you two had no secrets between you but... I suppose Papyrus isn't one for talking about himself... Keep trying okay?"  
  
Sans agreed with her for once but it didn't help to relieve any burdens. Of course Muffet wouldn't want to adjust to his brother's strange behaviour and of course she would say that Sans should keep his brother away for a while. Most obviously it was clear that Sans would have the trouble of looking after his brother again.  
  
The conversation fell into a uncomfortable silence for a long time, before Papyrus stirred from his 'sleep'. The (ex)couple agreed that they would talk about it when Papyrus was feeling better, so the two brother's headed home.  


* * *

  
Sans for a while actually thought that he made some progress with his brother's behaviour. When they arrived home that day, Sans took it on himself to cook, clean and serve whatever his brother desired (even offered wearing a uniform to make it more believable but he declined).  
  
His brother eventually sat him down and talked about small things at first, mainly being about how his training was going. What Sans has learned to cook with Alphys and Undyne. If he would like to go to an NT show someday. It made him happy for a long time, seeing his brother put more effort into their relationship. Even if it was just platonic.  
  
But that nagging feeling in his soul never left, nor did the voice ever become silent. In fact he only really noticed the voice when he was alone or if he doubted himself in some way. That said, he has only ever consulted the knife when he was at his lowest, which rather proudly had been the once or twice and that is because once again, when it came to asking his brother about those nightmares, he had dismissed him.  
  
Why his brother could trust him to fight with the royal captain, to cook unsupervised, to go into the forest by himself to set up traps, even go and see the Queen! And yet he could not tell him about the nightmares? It shouldn't matter no more, since they had stopped but Sans had no doubt that their relationship would be so much better if that one nagging thing was put to rest.  
  
It caused a really bad cutting session once.  
  
As Sans sat in his room, late at night. Waiting until his brother was in his room and asleep, was when he snuck downstairs to grab the knife. Hesitating a few times, questioning whether his brother had other reasons for not telling him.  
  
_'No! he does not trust you!'_ It yelled.  
  
_'He thinks you are annoying! that you'll just nag at him'_ It got louder.  
  
Sans whimpered, pulling his body back until it hit the wall. He clutched his head tightly, rocking it, hoping to drown the voice away.  
  
_'But it's okay'_ He stopped as he felt his soul lighten, _'I can make you feel so nice... like your floating on a warm cloud... don't you want that? To feel nothing?'_  
  
"Feel... nothing?" He whispered, looking up at nothing expecting something to be there but their isn't.  
  
_'Mmhm... just take that over their and allow me to take your pain away...'_  
  
Sans felt an unknown force pulling his body towards the knife, feeling nothing but a desire to hold it and allow it to remove his pain like it promised. He would like that, just to be left feeling nothing. Why bother feeling anything when feeling causes pain?  
  
Upon picking it up he felt his arms being raised ever-so lightly as he pulled towards his own room, being quiet to avoid his brother up. It was a strange sensation as his body moved without his full control, but it was very gentle, whatever was pulling him towards his room seemed to be caring as they were helping him.  
  
When he entered his room, his magic locked his door for the assurance that his brother would not be aware of what he was doing. It did everything for him, it sat him down on the bed, patting his head assuring him then raising the arm with the knife in it and lightly pulling it across his radius. It wasn't enough to scar, it wasn't enough to hurt, it didn't relieve the pain.  
  
As though corresponding with his thoughts it pulled away and moved further up, then it slashed across his radius but deeper. He winced from the pain but found it turning into the sweet relief that he desired.  
  
_'It's not enough... harder!'_  
  
So he did. Switching the knife into the other hand he placed it on the ulna, taking in a deep breath he stabbed it as hard as his bravery would allow. He nearly screamed from the excruciating pain but he bit down on the scarf to quieten his voice, hoping his brother wouldn't hear him.  
  
Marrow oozed from his wound, he dropped the knife allowing it to fall to the floor and quickly wrapped his hand around it to stop the bleeding. He could feel it flow through his fingers, it dripping onto his legs. It hurt terribly at first, as expected but Sans could feel the world numb around him. His body fought to keep consciousness but his soul was being lulled into sleeping.  
  
_'Just let it happen... you'll feel so much better... sleep well...'_  
  
Sans felt his body fall back onto his bed, he waited until it all faded away. Enjoying the nothingness. Hoping to never wake as he fell asleep, blissfully unaware of his worsening injury. Unaware of the crack that was forming on his delicate soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ending 1.

_The nothingness was as promised, blissful. He truly felt light as though nothing could hurt him anymore. He no longer felt any pain in his arm as he allowed himself to drift aimlessly in the darkness, allowing the non-existent arms to tug and pull at his being._

_The hands tugged at his shirt, pulling his small frame in one direction whilst the ones that gripped his legs dragged him in the other, as though attempting to pull him apart. Then they stopped, though Sans made no effort to move his limbs rather, he allowed them to fall not caring if anything happens._

_However, one hand carefully tugged up his shirt and ever so gently stroked his soul. Caressing it, pulling it from the safety of his ribs. Sans almost allowed it to leave but a strange fuzzy noise grew increasingly louder and louder. He groaned as the serenity around him slowly dispersed, his soul once again resting in its proper place._

 

"s...n...s.. w...a... u...p!"

 

Though his vision had no returned fully, he shook his head wanting to fight off the invisible force that was rattling his bones.

 

"sa...ns"

 

"G- go away..." he mumbled but it was quiet and no doubt unable to reach the others ears.

 

He dug his fingers into the covers, trying to pull them over himself like a child that doesn't want to go to school. He just wanted to sleep, to feel nothing. Because it was better than constantly living with heartache.

 

But his brother was persistent - enough so that he broke the lock on the door with worry. Then trailed over to his brother that was clinging his soul as though it was injured.

He knelt down and placed a hand over his brothers head, checking if he had a temperature or... if he was in heat. Not that he expected his brother to go into heat but he had to be sure.

 

"sans... what's wrong?" Papyrus asked with clear concern.

 

Sans only shook his head before muttering, "Nothing"

 

_'You're nothing but a burden'_

 

Before his brother could protest Sans faked a yawn in the hopes that his brother understood that he was simply tired.

 

"Just a little tired... the magnificent Sans sometimes needs extra sleep too"

 

_'Why lie to him? don't you love him?'_

 

His brother seemed unconvinced as though he knew that he'd never act this way. As though he knew what Sans had planned that day. As if it was so bizarre and new that his brother was still tired. But it wasn't as though his brother knew what would happen each and every day.

 

"hm... if you say so... but don't you have to train with alphys today?"

 

Sans pouted and mustered up the best puppy eyes he could handle. He really didn't want to be reminded of how weak he was today. If anything, he kind of wanted his brother to stay... his presence had a surprisingly calming effect on him.

 

_'She thinks that you're weak'_

 

"I don't wanna today"

 

His brother looked shocked to hear such words come from his normally energetic Sans, but it unnerved him as Papyrus seemed to realise something. Before shaking his head, eyes wobbling for a moment before throwing off the covers.

 

"Hey!" Sans yelped as he was exposed to the cold.

 

Before he could recover from the sudden exposure, his brother was on top of him, pulling up his sleeves. Sans panicked as his brother looked at his scars, so he tried to jerk away but his brother's grip was something fierce.

 

"how... why?" Papyrus muttered, letting go of his brothers hand. Looking defeated, breathing shaky breaths, body rattling before finally looking down with such pity be it for himself or Sans.

 

When he didn't grace his brother with an answer he simply lay down next to him, pulling him close, apologising over and over. And yet, as much as Sans desperately wanted to tell him how silly he was being, he found himself crying, sobbing and clenching at his brothers jumper. They stayed like that for a while. Until Sans' sobbing was nothing more than a few hiccups and his brother's apologies turned into hushing him and patting his head.

 

None of them spoke at first, Sans only heard his brother writing out a text which was presumably explaining why both he and Sans wouldn't be going to work today. None of them were mentally stable after all.

Then it was put away and that hand was placed on his head again. Calmly patting it and rubbing it. Sans wanted to sleep, to let his heavy soul rest but his brother cleared his throat and spoke.

 

"can i do anything to help?"

 

Sans pulled away a little so he could look up at his brother, "I don't know..." he whispered, unsure and nervous.

 

Papyrus put a hand on his brothers cheek, gently stroking it. Sans nuzzled into the hand as eased off the pain and other unpleasant feelings.

 

"want to talk about it?"

 

Sans shook his head slowly, he wasn't ready to talk about it. Whatever it was. He just needed his brother to stay and comfort him. It helped and if his throat wasn't sore from the crying then he could certainly say so.

But as Sans was about to cuddle back into his brother he felt his chin being lifted upwards. He stared up at his brother, watching as those eyes looked into his own. As though entranced by them, he could only watch as he was raised to meet his brother mouth.

He felt their mouths clink together in what would be a skeleton kiss. He made no effort to pull away though it should be within his brotherly nature, rather he leaned into it. Raising his own hand to caress his brother's cheek.

Papyrus put his hand on top of his brother's and gripped it tightly. Pushing his body against his brother's, as though he wasn't close enough. His other hand trailed underneath his brother's pyjama shirt and reached for his soul.

Sans groaned as his soul was squeezed tightly before being soothed. It hurt... so he pushed himself away from Papyrus but he retaliated and kept his grip tight on his body.

 

"S- stop Papy!" Sans whined, which caused him to stop squeezing and instead rubbed along the edges, earning a low moan from Sans.

 

Sans dropped his hand from Papyrus' cheek, opting to gripping his brother's slightly damp jumper instead.

 

"why are you like this?" Papyrus whispered, slowing his movements to see Sans' expression.

 

It seemed a mixture between confusion and exhaustion. This worked last time... Sans should lean into his touch by now. This admittedly, had only happened a few times in the last and shamefully by his own hands, the scarring of his arms. But Sans had done this himself this time. Perhaps he'd have to administer a different approach to the situation.

 

"W- why aren't you angry? S- shouldn't you be telling me off? I- I've hurt myself..."

 

Papyrus stopped caressing his brother's soul and felt the horrible pang of guilt in his soul. It seemed that perhaps unconsciously his brother was remembering things and getting them mixed up. It should've made him feel relieved but he wanted to forget those horrible timelines, they were so long ago, when he was overcome with a possessiveness for his brother.

 

_Something that he learned to control._

 

"no sans... i'd never do that... i love you too much" he smiled, he only hoped his brother could understand just how real those three words were and just what meaning was behind them.

 

"You do?" Sans sat himself upright with Papyrus also doing so.

 

"of course!"

 

_'He hates you...'_

 

Papyrus held out his hands to his brother, of whom cuddled into him. Enjoying their embrace. Feeling happiness as his brother held him close, planting little kisses on his head.

It was too late. The damage was done. Papyrus could see that his brother's soul was wrong. It was corrupted with something. A new found determination was found within Papyrus, that he didn't think he had anymore but his brother's soul was being played with.

 

"i won't fail you next time..."

 

There was an obvious limit on how comfortable Sans was with love. But Papyrus was more than willing to be patient, he'd been through many timelines before, so what was a few more before they'd ultimately be happy together?

 

"i promise..."

 

Papyrus whispered as a bone conjured behind Sans' back with Sans raising the knife behind his brother's seemingly unaware of what he was even doing.

 

"I love you Papy..." Sans closed his eyes before sleep took a hold of his body.

 

-

 

Alphys had raced over to their home, not bothering to knock on the door. Rather she called out their names over and over hoping for a response. For Sans to run down the stairs and tackle her into a hug as he had done so many times before.

However, upon looking up the stairs she could his door open. So she ran up them and cast open the door, so much so that it banged into the wall, creating a dent. Her heart sank as she saw the piles of dust on his bed. A knife was placed on top, along with a fading lone bone.

 

_She was too late._

 

'hey alphys.  
me and my bro won't be coming to work today, i think he is falling down and i need to be here with him. if i can't bring him out of it then i won't let him go alone... in case this is the end, then stay strong and please... keep us together... thanks.'

 

She turned to leave. Daring not to move anything out of place, keeping it exactly how it was before she arrived. Of course other monsters would be curious as to why the brother's weren't around anymore. But she'd just have to explain... how they both went on 'vacation'.

 

-

[Bad End 01: Fallen down]

[RESET]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Shame its the bad ending'


	3. To squish a blueberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Oopsie...

"Sans watch out!"

 

.

 

.

 

**.**

 

_Bam!_

 

Sans suddenly found himself looking up to the 'sky' above him, dazed and unaware of the world around him. He felt something cold hugging his body, some of it falling into his eye sockets, but he didn't care, he couldn't move, didn't want to move.

 

[Sans HP: 0.8]

 

* * *

 

_'The world means nothing...'_

 

"No! you are wrong!"

 

_'You are a fake...'_

 

"No! No! that is not true"

 

_'A corrupted sans'_

 

"No! No! No!"

 

* * *

 

"Sans?"

 

Sans blinked in confusion as the world seemingly focused around him. Alphys was stood over him, clearly concerned as she fretted over him. Not giving him a moment to get back on his feet as she raised him up and patted his back.

 

"God your brother is going to kill me"

 

"W- Why?" Sans asked, not quite understanding why his brother would hurt her, he only fell over right?

 

She pulled his body back to look at him, "I uh... hit you... look! lets get you to Undyne's she can heal you up right?! right! lets go!" She held him tight and ran off towards the Hotlands.

 

If he didn't feel the pain before he can certainly feel it now. As he bounced up and down, his bones rattling, his head hurting from the attack. Alphys wasted no time in getting there, nor did she knock.

 

Rather, she opened the door and damn near frightened her girlfriend, to the point where she was choking on her noodles.

 

"Alphys! w- what is going o- on?" Undyne sputtered as Alphys barged into the lab, holding an injured Sans.

 

"No time to explain! just heal him or something!"

 

"Okay! j- just set him down"

 

Undyne guided Alphys towards the couch and helped her set the little skeleton down. She placed her hand on his head before raising her over hand, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, she allowed her healing magic to work on his body. Whilst Alphys insisted on making tea for him, though Undyne understood that Alphys wasn't good in these situations hence why she dashed off.

 

Upon healing his wounds, she was guided into a white space. Their was nothing but Sans' silhouette and his brother's, which said a lot of things. It would've been a heart-warming moment if a persistent but evasive presence didn't swarm around the place, always just out of sight. It was unnerving to say the least.

 

However, she called for Sans and reached out her hand towards him. The silhouette seemed slightly startled at her presence but walked towards her, admittedly, dragging his brother's silhouette along with him.

 

As he got closer towards her, he seemed more unwilling to take her hand. As though expecting her to trick him into something, but as she withdrew her hand. The Papyrus silhouette nudged the little one, of whom looked up at him.

 

He cooped his cheek gently, bending down on one knee to nuzzle into his cheek. Though his mouth moved, she could not hear anything, nor feel the vibrations of his voice. Whatever he did say, however, did get Sans to take her hand and leave, waving at the figure.

 

Needless to say,

 

It took Sans a few hours to recover but with some tea and noodles, of which, he was reluctant to each at first but persuaded by an uncharacteristically nervous Alphys. But then again, after a few animes she was back to her boisterous, loud self.

 

"How are you feeling kid?" Alphys asked as she turned her head away from the screen.

 

The couple were sitting on the floor, in front of the couch. They were rather adamant of him staying put, as they didn't want to risk his injury opening up again.

 

"Much better, thanks" Sans chirped, with a bright smile.

 

Alphys' expression soothed as her friend, reassuringly had those bright starry eyes. She nodded and turned her attention back to the screen, though unseen by Sans, the couple were holding hands.

 

He didn't know when he fell asleep but the crunching of snowy footprints woke him up. Looking up, he wasn't too surprised when it was his brother that was holding him in a tight hold, with one arm under his legs for support and the other holding his back.

 

It was always peaceful in his embrace~

 

_'You're a burden to him'_

 

"... I- I don't care..." he mumbled as he nuzzled into his brother's jumper for some kind of assurance. It helped greatly, as his brother rubbed his back.

 

"you awake sans?"

 

Sans nodded his head as he couldn't find the strength to fully lift it again. Papyrus hummed to himself before opening the door to their house. Instantly, Sans could feel the warmth of the house, relaxing his body as he felt safe and content within his home.

 

Papyrus took him straight to his room, setting him down on the rocket ship bed, chuckling nervously as Sans still retained a tight grip on his jumper.

 

"heh, sans c'mon bro let me go" Papyrus tugged at his jumper but it seemed that Sans was being rather clingy today.

 

Papyrus quickly gave up and opted to rest himself on the chair next to Sans' bed. Waiting patiently for his brother to speak, lighting a cigarette to easy his nerves.

 

"D- don't smoke Papy" Sans said, though his voice was muffled by his jumper.

 

"what's wrong sans? something amazing on this jumper that I don't know about?"

 

Sans shook his head and allowed himself to let go, he wanted that safety to be with him always, it took away the persistent voice that continuously reminded him of his problems.

 

"is something bothering you? we can talk about it, if you want?"

 

Why his brother took such an interest in him, was a little strange but welcomed nonetheless. It helped ease his tired, weary soul, if only a little. However, even he was unsure of his problems and his brother seemed to have many of his own, he needed not his problems too.

 

"Nothing is wrong! I am just a little tired-" Sans feigned a yawn as best he could, hoping to the stars above that his brother would believe him.

 

Of course, his brother looked unamused, as he always did. But he said nothing and shook his head.

 

"alright bro if you say so" Papyrus grinned.

 

After reading Sans a bedtime story, (strange considering that it all started to improve his brother's reading, when he was but a baby bones. It still persisted to this day and served to lull him to sleep).

 

He was vaguely aware of his brother pecking the top of his skull before sighing contently, then leaving the room. Of course, then his soul ached from its other being far away. Sans had to fight this pressing sensation most every night. Always hoping deep down that his brother would sleep in his bed instead, to save him from the disturbing thoughts and dreams.

 

_'Want me to take away that feeling?'_

 

Sans stirred from his near-sleep to look around the room and see no one, he almost closed his eyes again when something twinkled from his wardrobe. Wearily, he got to his feet. Nearly stumbling over a few times but upon using a bone as a crutch he managed to get there.

 

"Why is _that_ in here?"

 

He picked it up and walked over to his bed, resting his tired bones by sitting down.

 

_'Use that... it will make you so happy. I promise!'_

 

"I am happy" Sans thought to himself as he examined the object before him.

 

_'Lies...'_

 

As though his deepest thoughts stumbled to the surface, be it from his exhaustion or no longer wanting to deny what was true, he contemplated what he could do with the object.

 

"...But... won't he know?" He asked the voice within his mind, as it seemingly became harder to deny that it was so tantalizing, entrancing even, as thoughts of relief came to mind.

 

_'Not if you use it... **here...** it's sensitive right? You'll feel such bliss, much, much quicker.'_

 

His eye?

 

"I- I will?" He thought weakly as the item slightly shook in his hold, as though two forces were working against one another, though one was clearly more victorious.

 

_'Mmhm!'_

 

As he cautiously, raised the sharp object towards his right eye socket, allowing the magic to dissipate out of it beforehand.

 

_'Y'know...'_

 

He put his scarf into his mouth, to muffle out the impending screams.

 

_'The best thing about resets is...'_

 

Raising the knife further and into his skull, he tipped the sharp end towards the top of his eye socket, bracing himself as he dug it deep inside.

 

_'you don't remember... **everything** that happens.'_

 

...!

 

"OWIE!"

 

[Sans HP: 0.5]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is good, (to a degree of course).  
> I am working on Love after Death next.. here is hoping that it will be up soon! ^.^


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain, Fluff and badly written conversation? YES! :D

 

 

Sharp pain furrowed deep within his being as he continued to dig the knife in his eye, he bite harder on his scarf as loud screams threatened to spill. He tried to pull it away once the pain became too much but an odd force held a tighter grip over his own, dragging it along the top of his skull.

 

For just a moment did he see the faintest of outlines on his body, a child with short hair, closed eyes and an emotionless expression was all he could see before he felt the familiar bliss take over his body.

 

His hand ceased in motion but was still keeping the knife in his socket. Magic poured from it profusely, dripping down onto his pajama shirt and kitchen floor.

 

Guilt. He felt his guilt for his feelings be lifted. He felt like an almighty force being shifted from his shoulders. He sat there for a long time, in the dark without any realisation as to the time, he found himself no longer caring.

 

However once he acknowledged the ticking of the clock, did his hand twitch that small scratch over the many cuts in his skull reminded him that it needed taking care off.

 

Pulling it out _carefully_ did he wince as his socket burned from injury. Much like what had happened the other day with Alphys, though this was no accident and not something he'd be able to carefully explain.

 

'Training got a little rough?' He thought as he wandered over the sink, but he shook his head. _It'd get Alphys into trouble._ He reasoned.

 

'He fell out of bed?' He pondered as the scrubbed off the magic on the kitchen floor. _Not enough damage to affect his eye._ He sighed.

 

'He got himself some milk... and hurt himself in the dark?' He mumbled before closing the bathroom door behind himself. _To simple--_

 

With caution did he walk over to the mirror. Closing both his eyes as he did so, using his hands to guide him to the sink. Once stood before it did he take three deep breaths, preparing himself or what would be the after effect.

 

_3._

 

_2._

 

_1._

 

He stared intently at it. Finding himself unable to react to it, he raised his hand and gently rubbed along the edges of his socket. The heavy damage was more on the inside of his skull but small cuts were visible on the top, where the blade was faced.

 

The magic within that eye was no longer dripping out. It managed to reform itself back to how it should look, but still slightly dimmer that the other. He doubted his brother would notice the difference and the cuts could definitely be related to training, it wouldn't be enough to get Alphys into trouble nor would his brother ask questions.

 

However, happy that the damage would go unnoticed, did Sans quietly retreat his way back into his now welcoming bed. He daren't glance over at his alarm clock, should it be close to sounding off.

 

He pulled the covers high, pulling his cushions down and happily nestling himself in the warmth it provided to his tired bones. Only as slumber seemed near, he heard his door creaking open.

 

"sans?" a tired voice quietly spoke.

 

He tightened his eyes as his brother tip-toed his way over to his bed. Not realising he's awake. He felt his brothers gaze on him but his brother took his time in doing anything. He could picture his brother awkwardly rubbing his elbow, unsure if he wants to wake his peacefully sleeping sibling but not wanting to return to his own bed.

 

He felt a gentle rocking on his shoulder and with great reluctance did he stir from his spot and peek over to his brother.

 

"sorry to wake you but..."

 

Sans smiled and pulled up the covers, no explanation was necessary.

 

"are you sure?"

 

"C'mon lazy bones my arm can't stay up waiting." He grinned as Papyrus inched closer, taking his invitation and snuggling close to him. "thanks."

 

Sans turned to him and held him close, taking holding of his sleeveless shirt and pulling it tightly. His brother in return wrapped an arm around him and soothingly rubbed the back of his spine.

 

It came as no surprise that his brother would be the first to fall asleep with his small bones. The nightmare was vivid and despite being close to his brothers ever-calming presence he still could not shake the feeling that _something_ needed to be remembered, as though to prevent _something_ from happening again.

 

_If he could only remember._

 

* * *

 

 

As the clock sounded its alarm, both brothers groaned from the rude but expected waking. His brother was known as the Great-Ignoring-Of-Alarms for a reason but Sans was never to be so lazy. Best stick to his character.

 

Somehow or another, however, his taller brother had him completely encased in his grasp. One arm was still wrapped around his back whilst the other now pressed on the back of his head. It was hardly ideal considering how he needed to now either, push his tired brother away resulting in a grumpy Papy or using his special attack!

 

He starts by carefully shifting himself back a tad just so his brothers face is visible, then by many years of observation does he tap his brothers 'waking up' spots, clavicle and cheek bones.

 

As expected his brother does in fact stir from his slumber to open a socket slightly to see what in fact woke him up.

"Time to wake up sleepy bones! Mweh!"

 

No surprise that its Sans. _Always up on time._

 

Not wanting to accept that it was time to wake, did he hold him tight again, nuzzling the top of his skull. Doing his best to contain his laughter as Sans cried out in frustration.

 

"give up and be like your cousins." he drawled out.

 

"Cousins?!" Sans yelled, though muffled by the covers.

 

"heh, yeah the ones that sleep in the ground all the time. got nice small rooms too."

 

"...You're teasing me aren't you?"

 

"never." He yawned before peeking down under the covers.

 

To his surprise did he see Sans looking up at him with his bright baby blue eyes and a pout.

 

"don't be mad bro." He chuckled.

 

Sans pulled his shirt down, effectively pulling his brother with it. Though rough he pushed his teeth onto his brothers, it hurt a little with it being so sudden but it was more a surprise.

 

Papyrus pushed himself off and out of the bed, "w-what are you doing?"

 

Sans didn't move though nor speak. Leaving Papyrus to awkwardly blush and sit on the floor. He placed a hand over his mouth where his brother's teeth touched his. _Never has this happened before._

 

"Sorry..." Sans said as he finally sat up, the covers resting on his shoulders, "I..." think... think! "I saw it in an anime once. I didn't think." He put a hand over his soul, it hurt greatly at the rejection, he daren't glance up at his brother.

 

"it's okay." Papyrus said as he walked over on his knees, "it didn't _mean_ anything did it?"

 

_Yes._

 

"No."

 

"then we can forget about it alright?" Papyrus titled his brothers head, but Sans looked to the side and nodded, "right well... hows about we restart the morning by making some tacos?"

 

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

 

It was that time during his duties as a 'royal guard in training' that he would go to Alphys' house to report what he'd found today. But he was hardly in the mood to keep his character.

 

Dropping his phone into the snow near his station did he decide to wander a little into the forest, where his friend would sometimes come to talk to him.

 

It was always nice to have someone else to talk to. Someone that wouldn't tell his brother about what they talked about. Temmie was a good friend.

 

He stopped at an odd patch of golden flowers that tended to sprout around the same time every month. When they would meet up and talk, sometimes he wondered if Temmie was the one behind planting these odd flowers, or if he was connected to them, judging on how Temmie was always near them.

 

"Well howdy friend!"

 

"Hello Temmie," Sans smiled as he took a seat down on the comforting grass, "Long time no see huh?" Sans remarked.

 

"Yup. Tell me friend, how have you been?" Temmie asked whilst making himself comfortable.

 

"Okay." Sans said as he pulled a tad of grass off the floor.

 

"Okay? Okay?! My friend Sans is always Magnificent! Why so blue?"

 

Sans chuckled a little as his friend exaggerated his expressions greatly, "I tried doing what you said." he blushed.

 

Temmie nearly missed it as he thought about what he'd said prior, but the blushing and twirling of grass clicked, "Oh! You tried kissing your brother? Weird! I didn't think you'd actually do it."

 

"Oh... well I did and he didn't like it. No surprise really... but... at least I know now how he feels and just like him, he forgave me easily."

Temmie nodded as he spoke, his hand gently patting his back, "Yeah. So what did you tell him?"

 

"Just that I saw it in an anime."

 

Temmie desperately but quickly crumbled his charade as he laughed at his friends excuse. "Wow! What an idi- I mean goofball."

 

Sans rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as Temmie rolled around on the floor laughing. _It's funny how predictable they are!_

 

Politely did he wait until his friend stopped laughing at his expense, upon realising that Sans wasn't joking did he change his tone and ask.

 

"...You don't seem very sad 'bout it."

 

Sans thought for a moment with a curious look, surprised himself that his soul was actually fine with the rejection. He put a hand over his chest though he knew not necessary, he could sense his soul beating as it usually does, as though nothing were wrong.

 

"I... don't seem to _feel_ a lot anymore... and I don't know why."

 

"Hm, how odd?"

 

Sans eased himself up to his feet, letting go of the loose grass and turning towards home.

 

"Leaving so soon?" Temmie tugged on his pants.

 

"Yeah, I gotta go home and start dinner." Sans said as he patted his pants lightly, "Besides I'm sure my brother will get worried if i'm gone for too long."

 

"I suppose." Temmie nodded in agreement.

 

Sans smiled before taking his leave, waving to his friend. Temmie made no move to go just yet, he just grinned as he watched his dear friends leave.

 

"Idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still ongoing and random? YES! :D  
> If y'all have any ideas for this then let me know or else i'll keep writing whatever comes to my brain.


End file.
